


Summer Dates

by credens_justitiam



Series: Oumasai Birthday Series [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Bars and Pubs, Clubbing, Drunkenness, Established Relationship, Karaoke, Kissing, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Nonbinary Amami Rantaro, Oma Kokichi's Birthday, Sexual Humor, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:07:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24834316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/credens_justitiam/pseuds/credens_justitiam
Summary: For Kokichi's 24th birthday, his boyfriend Shuuichi takes him out during the day for nice dates, and out during the evening for some alcohol-filled fun. But he knows Shuuichi is keeping a secret from him, one last surprise hidden up his sleeve. Kokichi is the birthday king, though, so he'll be damned if he doesn't get everything he wants.
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Series: Oumasai Birthday Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1796374
Comments: 4
Kudos: 71
Collections: Kokichi Ouma Month 2020





	Summer Dates

**Author's Note:**

> I have some music for everyone to listen to as they read. First is [Shuuichi's playlist to Kokichi](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3iGfbWMPjTfCkgTY9JgxlM?si=298JszTQSIqcAaJOYt4o_A), then second is a playlist within the text.
> 
> Whenever there's an asterisk, I'll have an accompanying one in the notes down below with an explanation.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> (Fun/dangerous drinking game idea: taking a sip every time Kokichi calls himself the birthday king)

Kokichi does a final wipe-down of the bar countertop, polishing the surface until it reflects the pulsing neon ceiling lights. While depositing the bar rag, he takes a glance at himself in the mirror situated behind the bottled alcohol. If he wasn’t so familiar with the club, he might have found the empty area, dimly lit with no music thumping through the speakers, to be haunting. But this club is essentially his second home. This night was one of many fun-filled night shifts of making drinks, telling wild stories to drunk people, and ribbing with his coworkers. He strikes a fun pose in the mirror for his and the security cameras’ amusement. It sucks a little that he’s stuck doing the closing shift on his birthday, but hey, mentioning it in his sob-story-slash-tall-tale-of-the-night netted him some extra tips. Besides, no amount of closing shifts could put a damper on going back to his apartment and seeing his boyfriend. 

Saihara Shuuichi. The person attached to that name makes Kokichi feel something. A lot of things. Right now it’s anticipation, like a cat sitting by a can opener and waiting for its owner to hurry up and feed it. Kokichi knows that his beloved Shuuichi is planning something for his birthday, and has been planning for weeks, but keeps all hush-hush about it when asked. Kokichi thinks his boyfriend’s attempts at lying by omission are cute and all, but he’s curious, dammit! Kokichi should be the one cooking up secret schemes and taunting his boyfriend with cryptic clues, not the other way around. But he supposes that his supreme lying capabilities can teach even a terrible liar like Shuuichi, which fills him with a conflicting mixture of pride and frustration. He’s not sure which emotion is stronger as he heads into the subway station. Kokichi boards a train car and, finding it empty, takes the liberty of kicking his feet up and occupying three seats and feeling not an iota of guilt for doing so. People do worse things on subways at three in the morning. He slips in earbuds as the doors roll shut with a chime.

Before Kokichi opens his favorite playlist (the one that Shuuichi made for him) he sees some texts, sent at midnight.

 **Shumai ♥:** Happy birthday Kokichi-kun! Hope your shift is going well! 

**Shumai ♥:** Make sure you sleep well tonight so you’re ready for all the things I planned for you later :)

A small smile rises to Kokichi’s face. For the umpteenth time, he wonders what exactly those things are. If he has to guess, they wouldn’t deviate from their usual celebratory activities. Since Shuuichi is an oh-so thoughtful boyfriend who’s considerate of Kokichi’s desires, they’ll probably do fun, busy, social things, all of which are things that give Shuuichi hives. If Kokichi asks how he’s doing (disguised as friendly teasing) during such activities, then he’ll insist he’s fine despite sporting a nervous sweat. But that can’t be all of it. Fun, busy, social things already comprise half of their weekends off—the weekends where Kokichi gets to pick what to do. There has to be more to it. He knows his boyfriend and his stupidly endearing perfectionist streak and he suspects there’s a hidden ace up his sleeve. Something that will surprise Kokichi. It drives him up the wall though, not knowing what it is, even if he loves making surprises for others and gets fussy if people discover them prematurely. Not that it happens often, because Kokichi is a _master planner._ He lets the soft beats of Shuuichi’s playlist along with the subway carry him back to his home district.

Kokichi steps into their apartment with his signature stealth, navigating it expertly even in the darkness. Though he just wants to creep under the covers with his beloved Shuuichi, the remnants of a busy night of bartending (read: sweat) make his shirt cling to his back. But the thought of waking up his boyfriend with the noise of a shower gives Kokichi pause. Shuuichi is an unfortunately light sleeper, and doesn’t have a good relationship with sleep in general because of all the coffee and anxiety he has. Should he use disposable towelettes to get rid of the worst of it off? Kokichi’s mind, however, conjures an image of his boyfriend gently disapproving forgoing a shower for his sake. _It’d be better if you went to bed feeling clean and refreshed,_ Imaginary Shuuichi says. _I don’t mind the noise, really. Plus, it’s always good to see you again before I sleep._

 _Well,_ Imaginary Kokichi grins, _if Shuuichi-chan wants to see me dripping wet and naked, then of course I’d oblige!_

Imaginary Shuuichi laughs weakly. Even after years of dating, and knowing each other for even longer, he’s still embarrassed by such teasing. _Aren’t you going to put on clothes? Or at least a towel?_

Imaginary Kokichi beams, a cheeky response immediately leaving his mouth. _How about an apron? And_ only _an apron._

 _You’ll get sick if you don’t dry yourself off properly,_ Imaginary Shuuichi attempts to be stern, but his exasperation is fond. _If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’d want to get sick because you know I’d drop everything to take care of you._

Both Real and Imaginary Kokichi’s hearts beat just a little bit harder. _Well, you’re wrooong! You actually don’t know any better because you’d throw me to the wolves as soon as I display any sign of weakness. Or maybe you’re right?_

Imaginary Shuuichi chuckles. _I know I’m right. It happened before. Now go, I’ll be waiting for you right here._

Kokichi huffs and rinses the last of the suds off his body. Shuuichi must run himself ragged acting as Kokichi’s impulse control. Even in his mindscape he has to gently remind him, like a pop-up ad, to drink water and to maybe not sass that patron for spilling their own drink. It’s only out of courtesy for his boyfriend’s nerves and self-benefit that Kokichi heeds his suggestions, of course. Nobody else can give Kokichi a request that he’d fulfill without hesitation, as only Shuuichi gives him these sickeningly sweet smiles when pleased. Smiles that make Kokichi _want_ to obey. Briefly he feels heat rush through him as the thought of Shuuichi commanding him in some _other_ ways crosses his mind. He _is_ the birthday boy, after all. It’s definitely within his right to ask his boyfriend to dom the fuck out of him until he can’t think straight (not that he ever did).

When he emerges from the bathroom in a clean shirt and shorts and heads into the bedroom, Shuuichi cracks open a bleary eye. “Good morning, Kokichi-kun. Happy birthday.”

“Good morning to you too, sleepyhead,” Kokichi greets in return, sliding under the covers. They’re warm with his boyfriend’s body heat. “Didn’t mean to wake you, my bad.”

Shuuichi shakes his head slowly, “you’re good,” he mumbles. His eyes fall shut again in content. “And you smell nice.”

Kokichi giggles and croons, “Such touching words. Can I get them written on my tombstone? ‘RIP Ouma Kokichi, 24, good and smells like chai spice.’ Actually, that’s what I have on my dating profile.” The way his body melts into the embrace of his boyfriend makes him feel a certain way.

“Don’t talk about dying on your birthday, that’s bad luck,” Shuuichi scolds him, eyes opening again. In the darkness, they look like moonlight, or something similarly poetic. Kokichi could stare at them forever and ever.

“I have no control whether I live or die at any given moment,” Kokichi states, burying his face into Shuuichi’s chest. “The subway could’ve crashed and you wouldn’t have known until you watch the news the next day.”

His boyfriend has the audacity to laugh. “Die then.” Before Kokichi can whine about what a meanie he is and how he doesn’t care about his death, he amends, “kidding, I love you. Go to sleep.”

“Pretty much the same thing, if you ask me,” Kokichi mumbles and closes his eyes with a yawn. “Love you too.”

* * *

Kokichi wakes to the faint smell of cooked food and a kiss to his forehead. “Good morning and happy birthday, Kokichi-kun.”

“Shuuichi-chan…” he groans, trying to pry open his eyes and failing, “you already said that today. Say something more original.”

His boyfriend snorts. “You look very charming in your bedclothes, which I’m sure you stole from my laundry.”

“Better,” Kokichi mumbles, wishing he could sink into the pillow. Remembering the desire he felt after his shower from the night before, though, makes him prop himself up and arrange his limbs more seductively. “Now fuck me into the mattress.”

“You—You just woke up,” Shuuichi sputters adorably. “If I, um, did that to you now, you won’t be able to walk.”

“That’s the point,” he flips himself onto his stomach, wiggling his ass in the air. “Now won’t you take me, my beloved Shuuichi-chan?”

“No!” He nearly shouts. It’s always a treat to see him lose his composure. “That’s not the point I’m trying to make!”

Kokichi begins to fake sob. “Even on my birthday, Shuuichi-chan thinks I’m too disgusting to be fucked—”

“Also not the point! You’re not disgusting, and later I’ll definitely—” Shuuichi snaps his mouth shut and blushes. “I mean, if you can’t walk today, then you won’t be able to do all the things I planned. Don’t you want to find out what I have in store for you?”

Kokichi knows a redirect when he sees one, but he has to admit that he’s curious. He nearly popped a boner last night thinking of all the things his boyfriend could do to him, after all. So he dries his tears and takes the bait, because even on his birthday he’s a generous man. “Hmm, I suppose. If they’re Shuuichi-chan’s plans, then they have to be at least a little bit interesting. More so than anal sex.”

Shuuichi laughs and rolls his gorgeous eyes. “I promise, they are. Now, do you want to have your breakfast in bed?” He gestures to their night stand, where a tray sat laden with food. Had Kokichi gotten his way earlier, it would have been abandoned.

“Oooh, breakfast in bed!” Kokichi crows, sitting up. “Would Shuuichi-chan feed me some grapes and fan me if I asked?”

“If that’s what you want. I don’t have a fan but I can feed you,” Shuuichi says mildly, with a slightly too pleased expression on his face. It’s as if he anticipated him saying that. Kokichi has to both commend and feel annoyed at his deductive reasoning skills. Shuuichi takes a small bundle of grapes and offers it with a tender smile. That smile is enough to distract Kokichi from taking full advantage of his birthday rights and ordering him to kiss his feet.

“Say ‘ahh,’” his boyfriend holds the grapes in front of his mouth. It’s stupid how much Kokichi’s heart thumps in response.

“Ahh,” he obeys, too caught off guard in that moment to do much else. But his competitive streak won’t allow Shuuichi’s subservience get the best of him, so for the next few grapes, he lets out increasingly sluttier moans each time he accepts one. As the amount of grapes dwindled, his boyfriend can barely hold the stem aloft, shaking from laughter.

“You’re really into this,” he observes at Kokichi’s latest pornstar-worthy moan.

“I can’t help it, these _tight_ grapes are the best. And you’re just sooo sexy like this. If you’re not careful, I’ll gobble up your fingers too.”

“I’ll be careful then,” Shuuichi acquiesces. As Kokichi cranes his neck upward to steal the next grape, his boyfriend jerks the stem upwards and Kokichi’s teeth close on thin air.

A prickle of irritation shoots up his spine. “Shuuichi-chaaaan, what gives?”

“Just being careful,” his boyfriend replies evenly, but his face reveals clear as day his glee at having played Kokichi. He wiggles his fingers. “I don’t want to lose these, after all.”

Well, two can play at that game. “Fine, if you’re so scared of losing your fingers, then I’m making a new rule. You have to use your mouth to feed me now.”

Kokichi revels in the pink blooms across his boyfriend’s face with a smirk. He expects him to stutter, shove the tray into his face, and excuse himself to the bathroom. But yet again, Shuuichi never fails to simultaneously frustrate and impress him, his pristine jaw setting in a determined line. If there’s one person who can match Kokichi’s competitive streak, it’s Shuuichi.

“With pleasure,” he says bravely and takes a grape into his mouth. Kokichi feels himself get warmer as his boyfriend leans over him. Bold Shuuichi is almost too much to handle. Kokichi should distract him, ruin the moment and make him drop the grape elsewhere, leaving him scrambling to find it before it gets squished onto their bedsheets, but he’ll be damned if his boyfriend’s presence is nothing short of overwhelming. Their lips brush together briefly and it shoots electricity down his spine. Ouma Kokichi does _not_ get flustered, he reminds himself as he receives the grape. But it’s unfair how sensual it feels when the grape bursts across his tongue, as if Shuuichi infused it with his energy with his mouth. Said mouth parts slightly, exhaling through pink lips, and suddenly Kokichi can’t take it anymore. Not that he’d ever admit in a million years that he broke first, no. He’s just a generous man. A generous man who grabs his boyfriend’s shirt and yanks him down to plant a fat smooch right on those enticing lips because they’re just _begging_ to be kissed. He kisses him once, twice, and then some.

“Kokichi-kun,” Shuuichi warns between kisses, “your food will get cold.”

Such a mood killer. Kokichi still tries to keep the rhythm going even as his boyfriend pulls away. “What are you talking about, my beloved Shuuichi-chan? My full-course meal is right here, and he’s _steaming_ hot.” 

When that fails to bring him back, Kokichi huffs. “At least feed me more grapes, that was exciting.” In more ways than one.

Shuuichi laughs sheepishly. “That was the last one, sorry,” he informs. “Can I use a fork now? I’d rather not feed you scrambled eggs with my mouth.”

He checks his nails. They’re sparkly purple with black on his ring fingers. “Hmm, do whatever you want. I won’t make you make a mess of yourself since I’m such a nice boyfriend.” 

“The nicest,” Shuuichi agrees, spooning a bite into Kokichi’s mouth. The eggs aren’t as hot as they could be after their impromptu makeout session but they’re still soft and warm. Just like the gooey feelings in his heart. He decides to share those thoughts with his boyfriend.

“These eggs are such a mood,” Kokichi sighs with his mouth full. At Shuuichi’s puzzled raised brow, he swallows and elaborates. “You make my brain and my insides feel all soft and mushy. Are you sure you still want to use a fork? There are so many more ways to feed me, it’d be so hot.”

Predictably, Shuuichi’s face twists in both laughter and disgust. “There are so many wrong things about what you just said.” 

Kokichi makes another show of checking his nails. “Oh? Care to inform me, my beloved Shuuichi-chan?”

He laughs some more. “First,” Shuuichi ticks off his grievances with the fingers he was so scared of losing before, “I’m flattered to hear that I make you feel soft but I’m not sure how to feel about my cooking resembling your insides. Second, I’m not going to use my bare hands nor my mouth to feed you something that resembles said insides, that’s really gross. Seriously, how do you still have an appetite after saying that?”

Kokichi shrugs noncommittally before pasting a sly grin to his face. “You’re so hot when you show some backbone, Shuuichi-chan,” he drawls. “But if you get any more uppity with me, I'll have to show you some ‘backbone’ of my own and fuck _you_ into the mattress.”

His boyfriend blushes red this time. Despite that, his eyes glint like stainless steel and the corners of his lips quirk up in a smirk. “You like it though,” he counters, “when I get uppity with you. Since you find it entertaining.”

He’s right, of course, but Kokichi leaves the ego-stroking to his boyfriend. “Sure, if that’s what you wanna think. Now let me enjoy my terrible breakfast in peace.”

“You don’t need me to feed you anymore?” Shuuichi asks.

Kokichi draws himself up to his fullest height while still sitting in bed, ignoring that he still doesn’t even come up to Shuuichi’s chest when his boyfriend stands. “You’ve outlived your usefulness in that department, so you’re dismissed. Come on, off you go. Unless you like being ordered around?”

Shuuichi laughs again, sounding like chimes in a summer breeze. “Whatever you wish.”

* * *

After cleaning up the breakfast dishes, the next part of their day consists of riding the train down to the aquarium; a date spot that combines Shuuichi’s low-stress tastes with Kokichi’s love for colorful things. He skips ahead in one of his many summer date outfits, which is a light pink t-shirt and overall shorts. The youthful look combined with his ponytail and hair clips makes him look more like Shuuichi’s younger sibling than his boyfriend, but he does relish in the embarrassed apology the ticket kiosk worker gives when he tells them he’s twenty-four instead of twelve. Plus, he knows his ass looks great in these shorts.

“I didn’t expect you to correct them. I thought you’d be happy to get in with a child admission price,” Shuuichi teases as they walk towards the first exhibit. The lights emanating from within the tanks give his face a bluish tinge. 

“That’s so awful and not funny of you to say,” Kokichi pouts. “Because then that means you’d be committing a crime every time you shove your fat—” The words “dick into my ass” get muffled by the hand Shuuichi slaps to his mouth. Kokichi stifles the moan that follows. He is unusually horny today. 

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. But you can’t say that stuff in public—there are actual children around,” Shuuichi reprimands in that hushed tone that parents use when their kids try to curse around other people. He then jerks his hand back. “Don’t lick me either!”

Kokichi bites down the easy retort of his boyfriend enjoying being licked on other occasions. Instead, he observes, “Your hands are sweating a lot. It’s salty,” Kokichi smiles innocently at the incredulous look on his boyfriend’s face. The atmosphere in the aquarium was cool and peaceful. The tanks ran from wall to wall, filled with colorful fish of all species. The plants within undulated slowly with the flow of water. Against such a backdrop, Shuuichi looks extra pretty in his shirt and light vest and Kokichi can't help the flutter in his chest. 

But Kokichi feels there’s something a little bit off about his boyfriend as he studies him carefully. He pries, “does this mean Shuuichi-chan is feeling nervous?”

“Aah, don’t worry about it.” His boyfriend’s head twitches slightly, as if he was about to duck his head away but stopped himself from making such a conspicuous move. It’s still incredibly conspicuous though, to an observant person like Kokichi. Plus, Shuuichi gave him such a weak non-answer. He’s definitely nervous—well, more nervous than he always is—and hiding something to boot. Kokichi is dying to know why, but he knows that stubborn Shuuichi would never admit it straight up. Besides, it’s supposed to be a good day. He won’t enjoy himself if his beloved Shuuichi isn’t. Letting go of his curiosity for now, Kokichi gives himself a new mission: make his boyfriend forget about his secret by joking and teasing him until he’s comfortable. Those tactics always work with his gloomy gumshoe boyfriend. So he beams and grabs Shuuichi’s hand (the one he licked earlier) and pulls him to the next exhibit.

“If you say so. Now come on, I wanna see the killer animals! Think we’ll see a great white shark?”

Shuuichi looks grateful for the subject change and laces their fingers together without protest. “I heard that keeping great white sharks in captivity is difficult. See, look.” He points to a plaque that detailed the various creatures being kept. He talks over Kokichi’s rendition of the _Jaws_ theme while reading aloud. “‘Sharks have to keep their mouth open while they swim in order to let water pass through their gills. Because great white sharks are known for traveling for long distances continually in order to do so and weaken as soon as they stop moving, keeping them in tanks has proven detrimental to their health in the past. Thus we do not have great white sharks living with the other sharks in our facilities.’ But at least we’ll see other kinds of sharks, right?”

“Right,” Kokichi agrees breezily, head on Shuuichi’s shoulder. From there, he can feel the vibrations of his voice. He spies a sign talking about ocean tides and how the moon affects them and lets his imagination run freely. “If there were two guys on the moon and one of them killed the other with a rock would that be fucked up or what?”

Shuuichi puffs air out his nose. “Yes, it would be, but why are you bringing up the moon when we're in an aquarium?" He then puts a hand to his mouth and thinks like the famous statue. “Though now that I think about it, I’ve heard that humanity has explored more of the moon than the bottom of the ocean. I feel like there’s a lot to learn here at the aquarium.”

“If there were two guys at the bottom of the ocean—” Kokichi bursts into a fit of giggles as Shuuichi sighs. For now, it seems that he’s relaxed, if not slightly exasperated. But that’s what Shuuichi signed up for when he asked Kokichi out, so Kokichi considers his mission to make him less nervous to be accomplished. They stroll hand in hand to a tank with seahorses and other creatures drifting lazily. He chatters about everything and nothing all at once, only leaving his boyfriend’s side to press his nose into the glass where they kept hammerhead sharks. Then he has to be physically held back from doing the same to the tank that housed an electric eel. He settles for having a picture taken of him while its body sparked with electricity.

Towards the end of the aquarium, the air was cooler as they reached the penguin exhibit. The top half of the walkway was enclosed by a tank where the penguins swam overhead, casting the area in turquoise hues and shadows. Kokichi happily skips along underneath as he ushers Shuuichi through. Since there wasn’t anyone else too close by, Kokichi faces his boyfriend and stands on his toes to give him a small series of kisses, right underneath the rippling water. He delights in the way Shuuichi grows pink.

After a few minutes, they finally pull apart. “This is a pretty romantic spot,” Shuuichi murmurs. “You look so good right now, Kokichi-kun.”

Kokichi preens at the compliment because he’s an easy bitch. “Yeah? Come on, let’s take some pictures together.”

Because Shuuichi is the one blessed with height in the relationship, he holds his phone aloft and wraps the other arm around Kokichi’s shoulders. They take a very social media-worthy one where Shuuichi smiles bashfully into the camera and Kokichi holds up a peace sign as a penguin swims by. Then Kokichi brings Shuuichi’s cheek down with one hand and makes an exaggerated kissy face towards the other, causing his boyfriend to laugh and jostle the camera. He has to snap a few pictures until he takes one that isn’t blurry. Kokichi tries to distract him further by sneaking his hands into Shuuichi’s sides, gently tickling him. 

“Kokichi-kun,” he protests, trying to swat them out of the way.

“Yes, my darling Shuuichi-chan? Is there something wrong? Feeling a little sensitive?” Kokichi prods with both his words and his fingers. Shuuichi pockets his phone and retaliates, trapping him with an arm and pressing kisses into his neck until he’s cackling with barely contained squeals.

“Who’s feeling sensitive now, hmm?” Shuuichi teases. Unfair. Kokichi is supposed to be the jokester, not him.

“Shuuichi-chaaan…” He whines, squirming out of his grip. The tickly kisses ease up and Shuuichi bends down to give Kokichi a proper one on the lips. Then he pulls away and does a horrible job of pretending to look guilty. 

“Sorry, I just couldn’t resist. You make it really rewarding to do things like that.”

Draping his arms onto his boyfriend’s shoulders, Kokichi pouts. “I’ll forgive you if you drop down and give me twenty pushups.”

“‘Drop down and give me twenty pushups?’” Shuuichi echoes. “You sound like Momota-kun right now.”

Kokichi makes a face. “Eww, I don’t wanna think about stinky Momota-chan on my birthday. Get on the ground and slit your stomach instead.”

“Now you sound like Harukawa-san. Though I suppose,” Shuuichi says with a laugh, “she’d do it herself instead of waiting for you to do it.”

Kokichi makes a disgusted sound and plants his forehead into Shuuichi’s collar. “Stooop, I’ll forget your punishment if you stop mentioning Momota-chan and his stupid scary girlfriend.”

Shuuichi’s laughter only increases against Kokichi’s body.

* * *

The next stop in Shuuichi’s plans is to get bubble tea while Kokichi decides where he wants to go for lunch/dinner (his sensual breakfast was at noon). As they wait in line, Kokichi muses aloud. “How about sushi? It makes sense to go since we just went to the aquarium.”

Shuuichi gives him a look of both concern and amusement. “I’d argue that it doesn’t make sense. Do you really want to eat fish right after you’ve seen them?”

Kokichi begins crying heavily. “Oh no, you’re right, I don’t wanna eat my fishy friends! I’m such a terrible person!” His tears dry instantly as he walks up to the register, to the bewilderment of the employee. “I’ll have a large peach fusion tea with mango stars, 100% sweetness, please and thank you!”

“May I have a medium Thai milk tea at half sweetness? Thank you.” 

Shuuichi pays for their order and they head over to sit in a booth by the window. Kokichi bounces in his seat like the twenty four year-old child he is as they wait for their drinks. “Like I was saying, sushi would be a perfect birthday dinner date. Even though I don’t like fish.”

“That’s a lie. We have fish for dinner regularly and you like it,” Shuuichi retorts. His facial expression looks light and relaxed in the afternoon sun.

“Nuh-uh, that’s the truth. Shuuichi-chan isn’t at my level of lie detecting. Fish is sooo unappealing, ” Kokichi taunts, letting a wicked grin split his face. If only he knew that Kokichi isn’t talking about the food. “I don’t know why you’d be into it. I, for one, prefer red meat.”

“Is that so?” Shuuichi presses, not getting the joke. What a useless bisexual.

“You know, like beef, pork, and sausage. Specifically, Shuuichi-chan’s saus—”

Shuuichi interrupts him with a disapproving glare. “Never mind, I get it.” But even the straightlaced detective can’t help his lips twitching upwards a little, Kokichi notes with a sense of victory. “I’ll go grab our drinks, be right back.”

When Shuuichi slides back into the booth not even a minute later, Kokichi pretends to be fast asleep. He hears his boyfriend sigh and set their drinks down. “You know, when I see you falling asleep on your birthday outing, I worry that you’re not having fun.”

Instantly Kokichi snaps ‘awake’ and wipes the drool off his chin. “Whaaat? That’s not true at all, Shuuichi-chan. I’m having tons of fun! And that’s the truth.”

Shuuichi takes a satisfied sip of his milk tea. “I guess I have to take your word for it, then. When you say you’re telling the truth more than once, is it your way of showing me you’re not lying?”

Kokichi scoffs and blows bubbles into his peach tea, watching the gelatin stars swirl around. “This isn’t a poker match, dummy. I don’t have any tells for lying. Or do I? I guess you’ll never know because you’re too slow to find out.”

“Duly noted.” Shuuichi smiles. He’s the only person on the planet dumb enough to smile while being both refuted and insulted. “Just to make sure, do you still want to get sushi for dinner?”

“Yup! Though I fully expect your home-cooked specialty sausage at the end of the night,” Kokichi chirps, earning him a blush and an eye roll.

* * *

Dinner passes by uneventfully (save for a few dramatic renditions of fishes’ lives being cut tragically short by the fishing industry and Shuuichi dropping sushi into soy sauce from laughing too hard) as the sun begins to set. Still though, Kokichi maintains a spring in his step as they head back to their apartment, takeout box of okonomiyaki swinging in a plastic bag. “Mmm, that really hit the spot! What’s next on the itinerary, detective?”

“We’ll be heading out for the night. We’ll go to a karaoke place with our friends, and afterwards I was thinking we’ll go to a few bars or clubs. Then I have,” Shuuichi scratches the back of his neck in embarrassment, “one last surprise for you, but I won’t tell you what it is right now. Does that sound good?”

“Sure, Shuuichi-chan, I can’t wait to go bar hopping!” Kokichi cheerfully abandons their takeout on the dining table as he skips to the bedroom. He rifles through their closet to find his party clothes, flinging enough rainbow colored and checkered things around the room to fill a Hot Topic. After putting their leftovers in the refrigerator, Shuuichi joins him and helps him decide what to wear. “Should I wear a hat?”

Shuuichi pulls out a sheer black dress shirt with lace sleeves and flower appliques. “Will you be able to keep track of it when you’re tipsy?”

“Is this Shuuichi-chan’s way of saying he’s trying to get me drunk? So devious,” Kokichi giggles. He shimmies into a pair of holographic shorts that are just short of blinding. It pleases him to note that his ass looks great in these as well.

Shuuichi chuckles in response. “I did say we were going to a few places to drink, so yes, you could say that’s my intention. Would this crop top work with your shorts?”

The crop top in question is a neon purple shade with ‘KING’ etched in glittery gold letters and accentuated with a crown. So of course it does. “Yes, and if you could find a tank top to go underneath, that’d be great.”

The end result has Kokichi feeling cute as fuck. His crop top and shorts emphasized the parts he wants to emphasize (the tank top is for Shuuichi-chan’s sake, since he wouldn’t be able to handle his stunning curves). He added enough gaudy jewelry to put Amami to shame and black platform boots in an attempt to close the fifteen centimeter gap in height between him and his boyfriend (it didn’t work). Speaking of said boyfriend, holy hell is he hot. Shuuichi had worried that his lace button-up was too revealing so he slipped on a blue undershirt, which clung nicely to his body. The top button was also undone very sexily. Then his choker, ripped skinny jeans, and Oxfords completed his vampire boyfriend look to devastating effect. He can suck Kokichi’s blood anytime.

“You’re gonna roast in those clothes,” Kokichi says, referring to Shuuichi’s long sleeves and full-length jeans. It’s summer, for pete’s sake. He empties his bag of cosmetics onto the bathroom counter, sorting through his makeup routine. He applies primer and waits for it to absorb into his skin.

“I know,” Shuuichi sighs, “can you pass me the setting powder?” As usual, his boyfriend is much faster in getting ready. He’s already covering his designer eyebags with concealer.

“If you help me with the eyeliner later.” Another specialty of Shuuichi’s. Kokichi, on the other hand, is the king of eyeshadow. They work perfectly together like that. He dabs on the mattest foundation he has onto his skin because if Shuuichi is to be believed, they’re going to have a long night out. Can’t be looking shiny in his club pics.

Shuuichi glances over with a look that Kokichi can only describe as husband-y. Tender and loving and things that give him diabetes. “Of course I will.”

He couldn’t stomach looking at someone so bright for long. Kokichi returns to his makeup with a ‘hmph.’ When it’s time for their mutual eye makeup session, he seats himself on the toilet and makes Shuuichi sit on the floor. It’s his short person privilege to do so. Not that he doesn’t also enjoy being above his boyfriend, if only slightly, for once. He displays various palettes with the flair of a cosmetics influencer as Shuuichi dabs eyeshadow primer onto his lids.

“Which color were you thinking of wearing, Shuuichi-chan? Purple? Good choice,” Kokichi dips a brush into the palette without waiting for a response. He’s half-expecting having to explain that he’s the birthday boy thus he has the right to choose, but Shuuichi just laughs and let himself be bedazzled. “I’m gonna make you look sooo pretty. Not that you aren’t already.”

Shuuichi’s skin warms under his hands at the compliment, “Thanks, Kokichi-kun. I’m in your care.”

A tingle goes down Kokichi’s spine. There Shuuichi goes again, with his little comments and looking up at him with those puppy eyes that make Kokichi feel weak. He wonders if it was a bad idea to make his boyfriend sit on the floor because it should be illegal for Shuuichi to gaze up at him like that, all expectantly through his long lashes. Kokichi prays Shuuichi doesn’t see the goosebumps rising on his arms. 

In lieu of replying with something equally couple-y and tooth-rotting, Kokichi says, “ugh, I can’t stand how sappy you are. Close your eyes before I stab them with my glitter wand.”

Shuuichi obeys with a smile. Under Kokichi’s expert fingers, his boyfriend looks less Victorian and more pastel goth. Swept over the entire lid and from the outer half of his bottom lashes was a light lavender hue that sparkled under the light. The gold highlight he applied on the middle of his lids made his pale eyes glow appealingly. Finally, on his beautifully sharp brow bone was some pale brow highlighter that made Shuuichi look like an immortal: beautiful, stunning, and awe-inspiring. If he smote Kokichi where he stood, he'd die a happy man.

Shuuichi marvels at the effect in the mirror. He then looks back at Kokichi with a smile that gives his heart arrhythmia. “The purple and gold match your clothes… did you do that on purpose?”

Kokichi is too stunned to be mad at himself for not thinking of that earlier because no, that was not on purpose. He just went with whatever colors caught his fancy. It takes him a second to recover and draw himself into a boastful pose. “It was totally on purpose, my beloved Shuuichi-chan. It’s to show everyone at the club that you’re my bitch.”

“Is that so?” The knowing look on Shuuichi’s smiling face makes his gut roil. “I don’t think I’ve seen you lie so transparently before.”

Kokichi turns away. Transparent, his ass. He was just caught off guard by Shuuichi’s unfairly good looks. So Kokichi doesn’t bother dignifying that remark with a snappy comeback. “The king is gonna do his eyeshadow now, don’t dare interrupt me or I’ll punch you in the throat.”

Shuuichi stifles a laugh with his hand and plays along. “Understood, my liege.”

Kokichi is glad for the excuse to not look at his boyfriend or his lace-covered arms as Shuuichi applies his own eyeliner. They wouldn’t leave their apartment in time if he did. For his own look, Kokichi swatches a pinkish, copper color as well as some pale orange (both glittery, of course) onto his hand, testing them both in the light; it’s not natural light but it’ll have to do. Unable to choose, he decides to use both, drowning his eyes with enough eyeshadow to make him look like he’s some combination of sick, hungover, and radioactive. The process doesn’t take long, so Shuuichi isn't quite done with his eyeliner by the time he finishes. In the meantime, Kokichi also applies lip gloss and a generous amount of pink blush across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. He checks himself out in the mirror, sticking out his tongue. It’s childish and makes him look like a total brat. Perfect.

At least, he thought he was perfect, but then Shuuichi just had to one-up him with his godly eyeliner skills. The wings are sharp, sharp enough to slit Kokichi’s throat, and he curled his eyelashes too. Completely unnecessary—his natural lashes frame his cheeks like wings already without mascara. Kokichi fights to keep a straight face, which is destined to fail because his boyfriend is so hot and he is gay as fuck.

“C-Come again?” Shuuichi stammers. Shit, he must have said something dirty aloud. 

Kokichi laughs too loudly to cover it up. “I mean, I’m ready,” _for you to take me,_ “for my eyeliner, Mr. Detective.”

At least Shuuichi seems too flustered to call him out on his thirst. “Um… Sure thing.” This time, he kneels in front of him as he sorts through Kokichi’s eyeliner collection. Once again Kokichi hopes Shuuichi is too focused on painting on eyeliner to notice Kokichi gulping at their proximity. With practiced precision, he runs first black eyeliner along his eye, a thin line of purple right above it, then nude pencil along the waterline. He stands back to let Kokichi curl his lashes and apply mascara. Kokichi doesn't need makeup to look good but the end result has Kokichi inspecting himself in the mirror like a peacock. He finishes it off with several spritzes of setting spray.

“Did I do alright?” Shuuichi asks, and Kokichi has to resist the spray him for such a stupid question since obviously he did more than alright.

Instead he goes, “You sure did, Shuuichi-chan! I can see the headlines for the latest magazine: ‘Saihara Shuuichi’s Eyeliner Skills Are to Die For, Beauticians Hate Him!’” 

Then more seriously he meets his eyes and says, “thank you for doing my makeup. I’m excited to have more fun with you tonight.” Just in case his boyfriend doesn’t get it.

He does. “Thank you. I am too.” His eyes crinkle at the edges, glitter twinkling under the bathroom lights. “Can I kiss you?”

Kokichi smiles so widely his eyes close. “Of course you can, my beloved Shuuichi-chan.” What Kokichi expects is a kiss on the lips, but then he feels Shuuichi plant a kiss on his left cheek. He cracks open an eye and is about to demand why he’s cheating him out of what he wanted when Shuuichi pecks the right cheek, then shuts him up for real with a long kiss on the lips, sticky from his lip gloss. Kokichi’s heart beats faster. _What a sneak,_ his prideful side grouches. The other half of him is too busy reciprocating to complain about how sickeningly cheesy the gesture is. He’s about to stick his tongue into Shuuichi’s mouth when he pulls away, denying him for the second time today. Kokichi is getting real tired of that.

“We should probably get going soon,” Shuuichi’s tone is mild, as if he isn't dropping the biggest buzzkill line of the century. “I want to get pictures of us, though, before we do. Sound good?”

Kokichi retracts his tongue and shrugs. “I guess…” Despite his disappointment, he looks obediently into the camera for each picture they take because they’re the best looking couple on the planet and he wants to immortalize his and Shuuichi’s likenesses, dammit. Several finger guns and fun poses later, he’s leaving the bathroom while Shuuichi uses the toilet. Then, as Shuuichi is putting his phone, wallet, and keys into a fashionable fanny pack, Kokichi goes into the kitchen and pours out a shot of soju. Just because he can.

“Kokichi-kun, we haven’t even gone outside yet,” Shuuichi says, eyeing the liquid that goes into the shot glass.

Kokichi does some jazz hands with his free hand. “We totally have, also, I’m pregaming. Wanna join?”

Shuuichi shakes his head. His expression can’t be described as anything but fond. “I meant for the evening, and I’m good. Someone has to be the responsible one.”

Kokichi grins, “That’s right, Shuuichi-chan will have to carry my drunk ass home,” and downs the shot like the pro he is. It burns his throat and mouth and makes him a cough a bit, but he gives Shuuichi a thumbs up to show that he’s okay. “Alrighty! I’m ready, let’s go!”

* * *

A short subway ride later, they’re on their way to an entertainment district in the downtown. Kokichi bounces hand-in-hand with Shuuichi, pointing out everything to Shuuichi that he likes and likes to make fun of: a gaggle of cosplayers, Shuuichi himself, the tinted windows of adult stores. The summer night air was balmy against his skin. With how pleasant the evening feels, his boyfriend’s warm hand in his own, and the faint tingling of alcohol in the back of his head, Kokichi doesn’t have anything to complain about.

He still does, anyway. “Shuuichi-chaaan, we’ve been walking for hours. Where the hell’s this karaoke place?”

He feels Shuuichi beside him snort. “It’s right here, actually. After you,” he says, pulling the door open for him like the gentleman he is. Not one to turn down such an invitation, he struts into the lobby like he owns the place and immediately spots Akamatsu, her loudmouthed girlfriend Iruma, and Amami.

“Took you fuckin’ long enough to get here, e-boys!” Iruma greets like a normal person.

“What she means is, happy birthday Ouma-kun!” Akamatsu says excitedly. She stands to give Shuuichi a hug. “Saihara-kun, it’s good to see you again too!”

“Ah, likewise, Akamatsu-san, how’ve you been?”

As Shuuichi and Akamatsu catch up like the good buddy-buddies they are, Kokichi’s attention goes to Amami. He greets cheerfully, “hello, my beloved Amami-chan!”

“Hey, Ouma-kun, happy birthday,” Amami strides over and puts a friendly hand on his head. They’re lucky Kokichi likes them, because their ankles would be fucking obliterated if he didn’t. “Nice getup you got there—did Saihara-kun do your eye makeup?”

Kokichi tolerates the head pat for a second longer before ducking away. He then waggles a finger and taunts, “wouldn’t you like to know? Are you trying to steal my style?”

Iruma stomps her foot. “Don’t ignore me, cucks!” She’s wearing gladiator heels that let her stand eye to eye with Amami. Not for the first time in his life and definitely not the last, Kokichi is the shortest person in the group.

 _Fuck tall people,_ Kokichi thinks. He continues as if he hadn’t heard her outburst. “I bet you’re just _dying_ to know my beauty guru secrets, huh? If Amami-chan wants them so badly, all you have to do is drop down and lick my boots.”

First Iruma squawks at being ignored, then looks far too invested in his words. “W-Woah, that’s pretty hahh, intense. I could still do it for this fuckin’ midget, but it’d be so hot i-if you’d let me do that to you too, Amami—”

Kokichi rounds on her the same time Amami does, making sure to pull his most nightmarish face possible. “Who gave you permission to speak, bitch?”

Amami is smiling placidly but their tone is black ice. “I’m fine, thanks.”

Iruma squeals, “hiiiiih! W-W-Who the fuck makes that kind of face? I-I was making a generous offer!” As their glares intensify, she cowers further. Iruma must be shitting her pants. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Unless you want me to!”

Just then, Shuuichi finishes up his conversation with Akamatsu. Kokichi brightens instantly and calls him over. “Shuuichi-chan, I don’t remember wishing for a slut on my birthday! Who brought her?”

Akamatsu answers, sliding an arm around Iruma’s waist. The latter girl flushes bright red but doesn’t protest. “I did, don’t pretend you’re not friends!”

Shuuichi laughs weakly, “It always surprises me that you two degrade each other so much. You’d think that’s something you don’t want in a friendship.”

“Does Iruma-san mind it though?” Amami muses, any earlier signs of malice gone. Akamatsu looks embarrassed on the behalf of her girlfriend as Iruma stutters out a no.

Kokichi checks his nails in boredom. “It’s too bad for Iruma-chan because her feelings for me are one-sided. She’s so filthy, it doesn’t even feel good to put a pig like her in her place. Akamatsu-chan, you do it for me.”

“Gladly!” Akamatsu exclaims, recovering from her earlier embarrassment. With newfound determination, she declares, “Miu-chan, you’re the most gorgeous girl in the world! I love spending time with you and watching you grow as a person!”

“Kaede… you’re so,” Iruma looks like she could burst into tears. “So stupid…”

Kokichi makes gagging noises as Akamatsu presses a kiss to Iruma’s cheek. Sometime during their whole disgusting girlfriend display, Shuuichi had gone to the reception to open their private room (and probably apologize for the profanity). He comes back as Iruma is burying her face into Akamatsu’s shoulder, either crying or giving her girlfriend hickies, Kokichi couldn’t be bothered to find out. 

“Come on, we’re booked for the next hour,” Shuuichi goes.

“Saihara-kun, did you pay for that yourself? You don’t gotta do that,” Amami reprimands gently, like a true older sibling. “Let us chip in. It’s only fair.”

Shuuichi’s eyes flick away. It doesn’t take expert knowledge of body language to know he definitely did pay it all himself. “Oh, it’s no trouble—”

“Yeah, Shuuichi-chan,” Kokichi butts in, grabbing his arm, “you promised me you’d be my sugar daddy and mine only! None of these stupidheads deserve it.”

Shuuichi’s mouth twists in a way that means he wants to scold Kokichi but has to keep in his laughter. His gaze shifts back over to Amami. “It’s really no trouble, Amami-kun. You don’t have to do that.”

Amami hums, putting their phone back into their pocket. “Too late.”

“Too late,” Akamatsu choruses as she and Iruma mirror their action with their own phones. Shuuichi’s phone buzzes with three notifications right after the other, signaling the virtual transactions that took place. 

“Think of it as an IOU, Shithara. I better see a double-ended dildo wrapped on our doorstep on my birthday.”

Kokichi drags Shuuichi over to the room before he or Akamatsu can splutter a response. As the other three idiots file onto the couches, Kokichi takes the mic [and queues the first song](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGp9952h9Xp0pCqqFWHdX0amXUR9Uz_tf). “I’m the birthday boy so I’m going first!”

“Wait, hang on,” Shuuichi says, fiddling with the room's controls. As he’s doing that, Iruma raids the mini fridge and tosses drinks to everyone. Amami catches a drink and cracks it open as the overhead lights dim and multicolored ones flicker on.

“Mood lighting,” Amami and Iruma say at the same time, “jinx.”

Kokichi waits patiently for Shuuichi to return to his seat to queue in his song. He purposefully stands in front of the TV to block everyone’s view of the screen, because when the song of his choice starts up—

“I’m the nuuuuumber one princess in the whole wide world~!”

The whole room bursts in groans ranging from “no”’s to “he sings this song every single _fucking_ time!” as _World Is Mine_ blares through the speakers. He carries the beginning high note over their protests, pointing and making direct eye contact with Shuuichi, who can barely contain his giggles. As Kokichi waves his hips to the beat, flickering lights making his holographic shorts shine, he spies the dancing figure of Hatsune Miku on the screen. He performed this song countless times before, so he knows the dance by heart down to the very gesture. He turns around to face his audience again, grinning maniacally as the next verse begins. To their credit, Akamatsu and Amami shout out “number one” on cue. Kokichi is having loads of fun swinging his hips to the beat.

At their “number three” he waves his right hand and beckons Shuuichi to hold it through his singing. His boyfriend looks so bashful and he’s not even the one singing. Kokichi wonders if it would have been better if Shuuichi had taken the shot of soju when the chorus starts back up. Finally his boyfriend chants along with the others that yes, Kokichi is the number one princess in the whole wide world. _Good,_ he notes to himself. He starts to saunter over to Shuuichi and sings about not keeping him waiting, causing Iruma to cackle, only to swing back over to the middle of the room as the guitars swell up. 

“Ah! Check one, two,” Kokichi takes a deep breath and proceeds to scream out the high note. He ignores how everyone except Amami covers their ears and continues to the next lyrics. When he sings about wanting a white horse, his audience says “ouma-san”* along with him and he can’t stop the delight that wells up within him, like carbonation in a fizzy drink. The lyrics shift towards Miku growing embarrassed, denying that she’s being selfish but being okay with some scolding. Kokichi agrees with her, but he only wants that kind of treatment from his boyfriend and nobody else. As Kokichi gets to the part in the song about the only prince in the world fit for him, Iruma and Akamatsu elbow Shuuichi playfully. Shuuichi grows pink under their attention while Amami chuckles. As the guitar riffs give way to the piano, Kokichi makes his body move extra coquettishly—he’s light years better at this than Miku. He’s the most goddamn delicious shortcake and pudding the world has ever seen. Finally, at the climax, the whole room sings that Kokichi’s the number one princess in the whole wide world.

“Ah! Hey baby,” everyone braces as Kokichi draws in a final breath:

_“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!”_

He ends his dance with a spin as the room fills with applause. It’s no wonder when the score on the TV reads **100 S+** in rainbow letters. Kokichi bows grandly before seizing the remote for a second time. “Because your opening artist performed so well, I’ll be choosing the next performer’s song.”

Shuuichi cocks his head. “And who would that be?”

Kokichi snickers as he selects _Romeo and Cinderella._ “It’s funny you ask.”

Akamatsu hoots as Shuuichi reluctantly stands and takes the mic. His dancing isn’t nearly as flamboyant as Kokichi’s—it’s rather stiff, actually, and he blushes bright red as he sings about caramel and wanting to be bitten gently. Kokichi’s and Iruma’s catcalls certainly don’t help. Despite this, a bashful grin worms its way onto Shuuichi’s face as he sings about mascara and black lace—both of which are things Shuuichi is wearing now. That realization does a lot of things to Kokichi’s heart. Not that he reveals any of this onto his face, no, not even as Shuuichi calls Cinderella a liar, asking to be saved and swept off into the night while looking directly at Kokichi.

“89! Nice job, Saihara-kun,” Amami praises as Shuuichi sits back down. Iruma grabs the remote and starts scrolling to the international section of the songs.

“I’ve had enough of the Vocaloid shit. Kaede, you’re doing the other part on this.”

“I am?” Akamatsu blanches a bit but accepts the microphone that’s thrust at her.

Kokichi can’t read the symbols that flicker onto the TV but he recognizes them as Korean. Iruma seems to care less about her pronunciation than the actual dance—he has to admit, she moves very well. When Akamatau raps, she stumbles over the words too, but she keeps on the beat well. Probably due to her musical skills as a pianist or whatever. Kokichi's focus goes back to Iruma as she goes all the way down to the floor, making moves that would require great core strength. Her body seems to be tailored for the music. If Kokichi wasn’t gay and completely smitten by Shuuichi, then he would’ve wanted to, as they say, tap that. Iruma mimes cracking a whip as the final chorus rolls in, and then they’re done.

“75?!” Iruma screeches. “That’s some grade A bullshit, we fuckin’ killed it!”

Akamatsu pouts as well. “Yeah, we totally did a lot better than that!”

“It’s only because you weren’t singing in your native language,” Shuuichi says placatingly. “If you were scored based on dancing, you would’ve gotten a lot more points. Especially you, Iruma-san.”

Iruma’s irritated expression gives way to a shy one. “Y-You think so?”

“He’s right!” Kokichi chimes, ignoring how Iruma scowls at him. “But moving on from that, let’s get back onto that Vocaloid shit! Who wants to do a duet with me?” He takes the remote and types in _Magnet._ One of the most iconic romantic duets. He’s okay with doing it with anyone in the room, but he does have a preference. He doesn’t look at Shuuichi juuust in case he doesn’t want to… but he definitely hopes his boyfriend will catch on.

Iruma snorts derisively. “What kinda loser would agree to that—?”

Shuuichi speaks up. “I will.”

A wide grin splits Kokichi’s face as Akamatsu disguises her laugh as a cough. “Saihara-kun, you just called yourself a loser.”

“Oh, uh, it’s fine…”

* * *

The hour passes by quickly with more duets, Amami singing _Africa,_ and everyone going ham for _Bohemian Rhapsody._ Shuuichi invites the others along for bar hopping and they agree to at least one stop. Their gay posse then heads over to the nearest bar. Kokichi taps his foot impatiently against the wooden floor. After an hour and a half of walking, singing, and walking some more, Kokichi can barely feel the effects of the shot he had earlier. That has to be fixed immediately. Two rounds of drinks later, he’s dramatically recounting how he got shocked by a 600 volt electric eel at their aquarium date. “Shuuichi-chan didn’t even stop me, how cruel! I could’ve drowned!”

Shuuichi looks exasperated. “I did stop you! I took a picture of you outside and not touching the tank!” He pulls his phone out and holds it over their glasses for everyone to see. Amami leans over to look and scratches their head thoughtfully.

“Can we be sure that Ouma-kun didn’t drown? This picture could’ve been taken before he went in.”

“Unless the Ouma-kun sitting right there is his ghost,” Akamatsu says, “I don’t think that’s the case. Right, Miu-chan?”

“Yeah, what Kaede said!” Iruma slams her fist into the table. “Though I’d pay to see Shithara have some kinky ghost sex.”

Kokichi says, “I bet you would, slut. So how about it, Shuuichi-chan?”

Shuuichi’s hands fly up in protest. “What the—no! We’re not debating about that!” But it was too late. Their discussion “is Kokichi a ghost?” splits the table, Amami joining Kokichi to argue in the affirmative, while Akamatsu and Iruma take Shuuichi’s side in the negative. For the next fifteen minutes, Kokichi and Iruma swear up a storm, enough to leave Shuuichi’s face burning and Akamatsu and Amami doing damage control for the other patrons and the bar staff. Sometime during all that, their conversation strays from the original one.

Kokichi scoffs around the rim of his mug. “All I’m saying is, if the moon landing wasn't faked, then how come the flag was waving? I thought there wasn’t any air on the moon. No air, no breeze.”

Akamatsu sighs. “I can’t disagree with that exactly; it’s true there’s no air on the moon, but…”

“Buuut?” Kokichi puts a hand up to his ear and leans closer, despite having no intention to listen.

Iruma swoops in to back her girlfriend up. “They debunked that horseshit so many times! Unlike your dumb gay ass, I can explain the actual physics behind it.”

Shuuichi, the little traitor, nods along. Curse him and his adherence to facts. “I’d like to hear it.”

“Well hold onto your skinny jeaned dick, ‘cause I’m gonna lay down the facts like a pornstar on a sex swing!” Iruma downs another swig of her drink. “It’s _because_ there isn’t any air on the moon that the flag moved so fuckin’ much when they took it out! The lack of drag means it would have taken a long time for the energy in the flag to disperse, which explains how it was able to continue moving for so long. Just like me in bed! How about that, cuck?” 

Iruma puffs her chest out as she laughs like a hyena in heat. Kokichi wants to point out how she can’t button her top all the way up or she’d ruin all her shirts, but it probably wouldn’t come across as an insult. Instead, he clings to Amami and wails.

“Amami-chan, Iruma-chan is being disgusting, talking about science! Say something, say something!”

Amami ponders for a few seconds, not answering. Instead, Akamatsu points towards Shuuichi’s phone, where he pulled up some shots of the moon landings. Typical Shuuichi, always pulling out the receipts. “And if you don’t believe that, then in these pictures where it’s clear the astronauts were moving between shots, the flag actually doesn’t move! No matter what you believe, we’re right!”

“That’s very well and good,” Amami finally starts, “but I can’t help but be a little disappointed by the direction of this conversation.”

As Iruma shouts ‘the fuck is that supposed to mean?’ Shuuichi looks taken aback for a second but seems open to hearing him out. “The direction of this conversation?”

Kokichi bounces in his seat. “Yay, I knew I could count on Amami-chan!”

Amami’s eyes take on conspiratorial glint. “Not so fast. Before we can debate about whether the moon landings were faked or not, I wanted to ask…” 

“Ask what?” Shuuichi prompts.

“Just one small question…” They trail off again for the suspense factor.

Iruma glares. “Out with it already!”

Amami grins. “Y’all actually believe in the moon?”

The table bursts into uproar. It’s so ludicrous, Kokichi can’t help but dissolve into a fit of giggles. This kind of conspiracy theory is right up his alley. The fact that Shuuichi is similarly losing it, gasping out “what” and “why” in between breaths, makes it even sweeter. Both Akamatsu and Iruma stride over to Amami, the former shaking them back and forth and the latter trying to throttle them at the same time. As Iruma shouts “what in fresh _fucking_ hell?!” Amami doesn’t even try to resist, the smug bastard.

“We should go,” they say, laughter dying down, “they’re gonna kick us out.”

Iruma almost succeeds in getting her hands around their neck. “Worry about yourself, fucker! I’m the one who's gonna do the kicking!”

Shuuichi stands. “I agree with Amami-kun, but I’m going to the bathroom first.”

Kokichi springs up with him. The alcohol makes his head spin a little. “Oooh, take me with you! I wanna hear you pee!”

“We live together, you already do—wait, no,” Shuuichi covers his mouth as Akamatsu snorts. “Nevermind, I’m just gonna go.”

* * *

Fifteen minutes of bathroom breaks later, they’re back on the street. Kokichi isn’t drunk enough to be stumbling, not yet, but he feels like he’s floating nonetheless as he skips to their next destination. Akamatsu appears beside him. “Ouma-kun, are you enjoying your birthday so far?”

He hums. “I guess. It’s missing a few strippers but since Iruma-chan is here, she’ll have to do. You don’t mind sharing, do you?”

Akamatsu vehemently shakes her head. “We can’t do that in public,” she protests as Shuuichi coughs awkwardly.

“That’s what you’re worried about?”

Iruma glances back, shrinking in on herself like a plant withering in a desert. The simile is paradoxical, though, because she’s sweating and drooling and not anything you’d call dry. Gross. “Y-You’re gonna pimp me out to this purple twink bitch? And you’re gonna watch?”

“She totally is!” Kokichi sings over Akamatsu’s protests.

Cheerily, Amami adds, “I’ve never heard of this kink before.” They slow their pace to walk alongside Kokichi because their stupid long legs let them take one step when Kokichi has to take two. Fuck tall people.

Then Shuuichi stutters out, “I, uh, I think it’s called voyeurism.” 

His head snaps towards Kokichi as a few surprised giggles spill from his mouth. Usually Shuuichi doesn't have the courage to contribute to dirty conversations until he has a few more drinks in him, so his participation just now pleases Kokichi. He still has to give Shuuichi shit, though, because that’s his job. “Actually, Shuuichi-chan, this isn't voyeurism. Since Akamatsu-chan is willingly cucking herself.”

The girl in question is turning an interesting shade of pink. “No! No! I’m not doing any of that! A-Anyways, where are we even going?”

Kokichi doesn’t let her change the subject. “To the strip club, remember?”

Akamatsu shakes her head. “No, for real, we’ve been walking for a while but we never said where we’re going.”

Kokichi doesn’t have a smart answer to that, he notes with irritation. So he spins around to grab onto his boyfriend’s arm. “Shuuichi-chaaan, do you know?”

“I um,” Shuuichi looks embarrassed. “I was planning on taking us to a bar nearby the last one, but I kind of lost track of where we’re going… we’re probably better off finding another place.”

Iruma snorts. “What a dumbass, you screwed up the one thing you had to do for your boy toy’s birthday plan. Guess you’ll have to make it up to him by screwing him the other way!”

Like the responsible and capable person they are, Amami interjects, “I know a place. I can lead the way.” 

The relieved look on Shuuichi’s face is too comical to ignore. So Kokichi reaches up and flicks him on the nose, ignoring the questioning glance he receives as he snipes at Amami. “Wooow, how long have you been rehearsing that in the mirror? It’s almost as if you were waiting for Shuuichi-chan to slip up.”

Amami doesn’t get riled up by the provocation. “I’m just familiar with the area, that’s all. I don’t have any ulterior motives, I promise.”

“They have ulterior motives,” Kokichi stage whispers to Shuuichi, though it’s loud enough for Amami to hear. He receives a sunny smile in response.

* * *

“I want something sweet,” Kokichi announces as they file into a private room, because of course Amami knows the owner of the nightclub or some other perfectly contrived horseshit. “It’s summer so it’s gotta be something nice and fruity.” He ignores Iruma suggesting ‘pussy’ and instead scans over the cocktail menu. The music from the main dance floor was dampened but still gently thrummed throughout the room. Where he’s sitting, the backlights on the table fill the room with a bright purple glow, an effect that makes Shuuichi look even more ghostly than usual. Several suggestions from Akamatsu and five minutes later, Kokichi is sipping a fruity parasol drink containing carbonation, fruity liqueur, a ton of rum, and a ton of sugar. He playfully offers Shuuichi a candied pineapple wedge speared on a toothpick, eating it himself when Shuuichi leans in to accept it.

Kokichi bites the straw with relish; it’s freaking delicious and just what he craved. The thing about drinking super strong yet sweet tropical cocktails is that they really sneak up on you. Adding on the fact that Kokichi is barely over one and a half meters tall and already had alcohol in his system means that he’s very quickly heading to tipsy territory when everyone else is decently buzzed at the most. Speaking of said idiots, he likes his friends, yes, but sitting down in a stuffy private room with not even a stripper pole to entertain himself means he’s getting bored, even if the room has cool lights. And being bored on his birthday is a mortal sin. He pretends not to hear Shuuichi warn him to slow down as he slurps up the last third of his drink, shimmies out of their booth, and drags his boyfriend out with him onto the dance floor.

“C’mon, c’mon, dance with me,” Kokichi orders like the birthday king he is. Shuuichi isn’t as used to the nightlife scene as Kokichi is but obliges nonetheless. As he pulls his boyfriend along, Kokichi catches a few glimpses of him while the strobe lights flash. He still looks unfairly good-looking even though the room is swelteringly hot and filled with other clubgoers. The buzz of alcohol hums in his head.

“I don’t recognize this music,” Shuuichi comments as the song shifts to something more beat-heavy. His dancing is more or less just rocking his body to the rhythm with the occasional hand movement. It seems no matter how many nights out they have, Shuuichi will forever have the dancing skills of a teenager at a family reunion. The crowd coalesces around them, pushing them closer and closer towards the speakers. The booming stereos vibrate Kokichi’s body even more oppressively now, stirring up every rum-drunk atom within him. He sways to the music, not caring for the elbows that jab into him nor the elbows he jabs back. Throughout the haze of it all, the only thing he can focus on is Shuuichi.

Suddenly, Shuuichi goes, “are you having fun?” He has to shout over the speakers to be heard, and even then Kokichi has trouble piecing together the words. In the dimmed setting with only the occasional flash of light, he can hardly see Shuuichi’s eyes. Instead he follows the glimmer of gold eyeshadow as his brow crinkles. 

Kokichi nods his head vigorously, like a bobblehead toy. The inertia makes his vision go a bit fuzzy. It’s true that he’s having fun, but when he thinks about all the times today that they’ve been interrupted, Kokichi gets hit with a sudden feeling of want. Shuuichi had been next to him all day, dancing with him, yet Kokichi hadn't gotten any action beyond a few kisses. 

So he supplements his nod with “it’s not enough.” When his vision clears, he can see Shuuichi with his head tilted to the side again. It looks ridiculous as they continue to dance. He’s trying to guess what Kokichi means like the detective he is.

That won’t do. Kokichi doesn’t want Shuuichi hanging onto every little word Kokichi says. Kokichi wants Shuuichi to cling onto something else. His gaze trails meaningfully towards the line of Shuuichi’s jaw, the slope of his nose, and back up again to his eyes.

Even in the dark light, Shuuichi follows his gaze. Though dense sometimes, he’s still intelligent. “I understand,” he says with a certain poise that makes him look like a movie star even as a sheen of sweat sticks to his skin. 

“Sooo smart, Shuuichi-chan,” Kokichi praises. “Tell me what you think I want.”

Finally Shuuichi takes the initiative. Instead of responding with another stunning deduction, he pulls Kokichi towards him. Shuuichi kisses him, long and not like the ones from earlier in the day that were cut short in the name of unimportant things like punctuality. Those interrupted kisses seem so far away and get banished even further as Kokichi eagerly accepts Shuuichi’s tongue into his mouth. It slides past his lips with ease, gently exploring and prodding. Kokichi tastes candied pineapple and the warmth that only Shuuichi can provide. And he’s so hot, god damn. He’s the best birthday gift by far. As the song ends, Shuuichi breaks their kiss but only just so; his breath, sweet with alcohol, washes over Kokichi’s lips in a way that makes his knees weak.

“This isn’t all that you want, is it?” he asks, and Kokichi is flooded with all the things he craves. Shuuichi’s kisses, Shuuichi’s sighs, everything he has to offer.

“‘Course not,” he answers, connecting their lips in another kiss. He stands on his toes, swaying slightly, and loops his arms around Shuuichi’s shoulders. Shuuichi brings them closer with a hand pressing against the back of his head. The amount of contact they’re making fills Kokichi with a tingling sensation, like an electrical current running through his body. He leans into Shuuichi’s touch, sucking in short breaths between kisses. 

There’s something so thrilling about making out in public around so many people, but it’s arguably because the crowd around them is so dense that they’re just two people kissing in the dark. If anyone is looking, Kokichi didn’t care. There’s no reason to, when Shuuichi’s lips are pressed to his, sticky lip gloss and spit and hurried gasps swapped between them.

Before they can get more into it, another song blasts loudly enough for Shuuichi to jump. If Kokichi thought the last song was grating, this one could make even a plant’s ears bleed.

“Let’s move somewhere else,” Shuuichi says, and Kokichi is glad to see that his boyfriend looks as irate as Kokichi feels. It’s a wonderfully sexy look on him. Kokichi wonders if he should cockblock him more often to see it. 

As they head off the dance floor and towards the VIP rooms they left earlier, Kokichi stops them. “Can we go to the bar instead? Akamatsu-chan and Iruma-chan are prolly being gross in there.”

Shuuichi laughs. “Do you think Amami-kun is watching them?”

“No, I decided to give them some space,” Amami answers casually as if they didn’t just fucking flash step into their conversation, holding a shot glass. Shuuichi jumps for the second time that night with a yelp. “Good to see you two doing well.”

Kokichi squashes his earlier thought of cockblocking Shuuichi more often because for once, he doesn’t have to do everything himself. The frustration of not being alone with his boyfriend anymore makes him just a little hot under the collar, and not in the horny way. And that has consequences. 

“Gimme that,” Kokichi demands, snatching the shot Amami held and downing it. It’s creamy and tastes like coffee; if he had to guess, it was Irish cream and kahlua. It absolutely burns his throat on the way down but it’s worth the surprised expression on Amami’s face.

Shuuichi sighs. “I’ll pay for your next drink.”

“Thanks,” Kokichi smiles, pushing the glass back into Amami’s hand.

“Not you,” Shuuichi says exasperatedly.

“It’s no trouble.” Amami recovers remarkably well. “Consider it part of your birthday gift, Ouma-kun. But don’t you think you’ve had enough to drink?”

Kokichi fixes them with a steady look. Amami doesn’t seriously think he’s that drunk, do they? “Hmm, have I? Takes more than this to knock me out.” 

He gestures vaguely towards the glass he had downed. “I can slam three more of these kinda drinks, no problem. I’m a pro, so this is baby juice to me.”

Shuuichi huffs out a laugh. “Sorry, what? _Baby juice?_ ”

“That’s what I said,” Kokichi replies, disinterested in the sobriety conversation. He’s an experienced drinker and a bartender, thank you very much. For Amami to insinuate otherwise… Kokichi doesn’t care for such slander on his birthday, or any other time for that matter. Despite his indignation, though, something deep inside him whispers that having friends concerned for his well-being isn’t the worst thing in the world, even if it feels stifling. So by extension, Amami’s inquiry is also not the worst thing in the world. That’s just how they show they care for their friends, Kokichi included.

But Amami would never let Kokichi live it down if he admitted such a thing aloud right now, so he keeps his mouth shut. Maybe Kokichi will share his care in return by sharing his makeup secrets with them later. Maybe.

“If you say so,” Amami replies in their affable ‘I’ll let you win this time’ voice, unperturbed. “I’m going to check on Akamatsu-san and Iruma-san. Will I be seeing you two again tonight?”

Shuuichi shakes his head. Kokichi’s attention snaps to that, though he doesn’t let it show in his body language. Is this where his surprise—the one he’s been hiding all day—come in? “Ah, no, we’ll be heading elsewhere. Can you thank them for coming with us?”

‘Elsewhere,’ and not ‘home?’ Interesting word choice. Kokichi almost doesn’t catch Amami’s parting words. “Sure thing. It was good hanging out with you, Saihara-kun, Ouma-kun. And happy birthday again.”

Kokichi waves like he’s doing jazz hands. “Bye-bye Amami-chan! Your presence wasn’t too much of a detriment so I’ll let you live this time!”

He doesn’t stop until he can no longer see Amami’s retreating form. Looking over his shoulder at Shuuichi, he pushes. “Sooo, what’s the game plan? It’d be boring if we just went home and passed out.”

“I won’t let that happen,” Shuuichi reassures. “Why don’t we leave here and get some food?”

Kokichi hums. Shuuichi must think Kokichi is drunk too and needs food to sober up. Which is totally untrue. It’s not as if he’s not some teenager trying booze for the first time. He needs to steer Shuuichi away from the topic of Kokichi’s supposed drunkenness, so he does what he’s best at: deflecting. “Oh? Is Shuuichi-chan craving some drunk munchies?”

“Yeah, it’s been a while since we’ve last eaten.” Technically true, but Shuuichi’s lies are always as transparent as glass to Kokichi. “Then afterwards, I’ll show you my surprise. Is that alright?”

Kokichi pretends to deliberate. Clever Shuuichi. Even if he can’t lie for shit, he knows how to dangle the metaphorical carrot in front of Kokichi. “Hmm, okie-dokie. It’d be bad if Shuuichi-chan starved to death on my birthday. So take me away, my dashing prince! Sweep me off my feet!”

“Sweep you off your feet?” Shuuichi laughs. It’s music to Kokichi’s ears. Shuuichi then complies with a rare gusto, wrapping him in a bear hug. Kokichi’s feet lift off the ground as he gets spun around like a little kid. “With pleasure!”

Kokichi squeals happily, no doubt attracting some people’s attention. He loves when Shuuichi gets playful with him. When he’s back on his feet, Kokichi’s world spins a bit, but he feels too pleased to reject Shuuichi’s steadying arm. Then Shuuichi leads them out of the venue.

**Author's Note:**

> *In the World Is Mine video, at 1:58, Miku sings about wanting a white horse, 白いお うまさん (shiroi ouma san). For this and other reasons, I think this song fits Kokichi well :)
> 
> When characters call each other by their first names, it makes me so, so tender...


End file.
